• About This Blogger

    Just another twenty-something, irrational, neurotic, over-sensitive, emotional, quirky girl who thinks shaving her cats body but leaving hair on their head and legs will give them character. .

    Contact me at freeandflawed [at] gmail [dot] com

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Don’t Talk About Long Distance

Pardon me for a moment while I wallow about my long-distance relationships.

This weekend a classmate and good friend of mine moved away. After graduation she, her boyfriend and their kitties moved to San Francisco. For my geographically-inclined readers, that’s no where near Chicago. I don’t have many friends that I’d consider close, but if I had to pick one, she’d get the title. I felt the most comfortable with her and really enjoyed the time we spent together. I know that just because she moved away, it doesn’t mean that I’ll never talk to her or see her. But it makes it just that much more difficult. Having somebody you care about be so far away from you…it’s hard. My support system has one less person in it.

Let’s add this onto the long-distance relationship already in progress (18 months and counting). To be completely honest I’ve contemplated ending it lately. Prior to Thanksgiving I was ready. But something didn’t feel right that visit. I couldn’t bring myself do it and I still can’t. I’ve done some reflecting and it’s apparent that I want the circumstances to disappear. I don’t want the distance anymore. I don’t want to see him every other month. I don’t want to pay for plane tickets and hotels just to spend three days with him. Financially it’s ridiculous and it’s taking quite the toll on me emotionally. He leaves and I train myself to fall back into “distance” mode. But then we plan a visit and hopes raise and excitement levels are high. He’s here and everything is wonderful. I feel so in love and happy. But then he leaves and I start putting up my walls again, getting ready for “distance” mode.

I am extremely unhappy with the circumstances, but I’m so happy with him. You really don’t realize all the parts of a relationship you take for granted when you’re in the same home, let alone the same zip code. I miss his smell, the way his head feels when I rub it, his smile. I miss holding hands while walking through Target or shooting our straw wrappers at each other when we’re out for dinner. I miss our meals at IHOP. I miss looking over and seeing him asleep on a long drive. I miss sleeping through a night without missing him.
I miss hearing him say “Beeeeeze” without a phone pressed up against my ear. I miss his hugs, I miss everything. I miss renting movies and cooking dinner together (really he does most of the cooking, but lets me cut stuff.)
I’m becoming so jealous and I hate that. I’m jealous because I can’t do the little things with him. I can’t go out for drinks after work or play Rock Band with him. I can’t go to bookstores with him or watch him as he gets excited over a new game. Anyway…I’m getting off track here.

The point is, two of my most important relationships are long-distance and I’m not coping with that very well. Especially after this weekend. I do feel extra lonely and sappy. I think it’s pretty safe to say that I hate distance. I wish that I could just throw a tantrum, kick and scream, and feel better. I wish that knowing I’ll see him in February would help. But I know that it’s only temporary and we’ll be back to not knowing when we’ll see each other again. I’ll go back to “distance” mode and fake happy girlfriend for a month or so, we’ll see each other, have a great time together, and do it all over again. It’s a horrible cycle and I’m ready for it to be over…just not us to be over.

Okay…this ends my wallowing. Sorry.

Where Am I?

I’ve been tracking my new planner through FedEx the last few days and I have watched the estimated delivery date go from Jan. 8th to Jan. 10th.

On Jan. 8th it was in Hutchins, Texas. It then arrived in Champaign, Illinois around 12:43 a.m. today. Upon my next look, it’s now in Earth City, Missouri. Um…wasn’t it just in Illinois? Aren’t I in Illinois?

::checks local news and airport information::

Yes. I am indeed in Illinois. So why did my planner go from Illinois to Missouri? Once in Illinois, why not just drive up to Chicago and drop it off in my mail box?

Tomorrow it’ll probably be in Georgia or Maine. I’m sure I’ll have it by the time February comes along.

(I’m beginning to think I’m cursed when it comes to receiving things on time…must I bring up my glasses, again?)

I Realize This Is Old News By Now

Perfect laptop bag my ass!

GeekSugar is claiming that this metallic gold mess of a bag is the new “IT” bag for laptop toters.

This is based purely on my own taste, but ew. I hate metallic. Especially when it’s clothing or large accessories. I don’t like bags that scream “Oh My God! Look! At! Me!!!!!” I can’t do it. It’s not how I role. A small change purse and hand bag, okay, I can work with those. It’s not the first thing my eye is drawn to. It doesn’t look like a giant gold bag swallowed me.

So if you ever see me carrying this bag, it would be safe to assume that aliens have taken over my body and probably smacked me a few times across the head with my laptop.

Musings Of A Weak Pet Owner

I like to think of myself as a dog person. I generally stop to “ooh” and “ahh” over dogs more than cats. Then again, it’s not often that I see someone walking their cat down the street. So maybe I’m a dog and cat person. For the last couple years, my traveling companions have been my two cats, Seven and Voodoo. If living arrangements would allow, I’d love to add a dog to my group. Regardless of their species, they’ve grown on me. I live to pamper them – at least they’d like to think so. I love snuggling up with Seven at night and watching her lick her feathers (she love toys that are made of feathers). Voodoo is always up to something. It’s exciting trying to guess what he’ll jump on or knock down next. Plus he purrs very loudly.

But do I love my cats enough to purchase a cat spa? They wish I did. The Hagen Living World Cat Spa is only $26 online, but still. A cat spa? This odd looking cat activity center is said to “spoil your cat with ripple massagers, accupressure pads, body-stroke groomers, and a gum stimulator.” Um…where’s my $26 spa? I want accupressure pads! If I buy any accupressure pads it’ll be for me! Not for my cats who will probably rub their butts on it. Of course, this would limit the amount of furniture my cats rub their butts on….

Would I consider buying it? Probably. Haha! Anything to keep my cats’ butts out of my face and on some plastic toy is fine by me! Would they use it, is the important question. I have a feeling Seven would think of it as an alien space station preparing to zap the cat thoughts out of her cat brain. Voodoo, on the other hand, would probably rub himself all over it if I threw some cat nip on it. He has a nip problem. We’re trying to break the habit, but he’s weak.

In the end, I am weak just like Voodoo because I will probably end up buying such a crazy thing to keep my cats happy.

Randomness 1.8.08

With all of my shows either going off the air or playing rerun after rerun, I have very little to be excited about when it comes to TV (other than Psych coming back to USA this Friday and of course, what I’m about to say)

It looks like Dexter will air on CBS starting February 17. The network is doing this to fill some space in their schedule caused by the strike. What happens when the strike is over? Does Dexter do a disappearing act? Will it even be enjoyable watching a watered-down version on CBS?

Rumor has it that the Weeds and Tudors are up for consideration. I suppose censored Showtime shows are better than all these damn reality TV shows though.


On a less positive note of the writer’s strike, the Golden Globes have been canceled. I couldn’t care either way, but I feel bad for people who A. enjoyed the show, B. work the show, and C. all of the writers. I don’t understand why some sort of agreement hasn’t been reached yet?


Why is she in Maxim? I don’t know why I hate her, but I do. Heidi Montag just annoys me. From her “singing” career to her “fashion” career…she’s just a reality TV brat. And yet the tabloids are all over her – still hounding her about her friendship with LC. Who cares?! I really don’t care about her plastic surgery or her new boobs. Her relationship with Spencer Pratt makes me want to rip out my eyes. His face bothers me that much. Call me jealous, call me what you will, but I’m so sick and tired of these talentless reality stars seeking the limelight because they feel they deserve it. They don’t. Stop it.


I bring you some truly devastating news:
Perez claims that the Backstreet Boys are this close to being dropped from their label after two crappy albums.

Honestly, I thought they broke up a long time ago :P

Welcome to Chicago

Have any Chicagoans been outside today? Did you have to come in and check your calendars? About an hour and a half ago I saw bright flashes and heard loud rumbles of thunder. I had to glance at the date on my computer because I could have sworn it was January. By the temperature and the storm we had, it felt more like spring.

Chicago had a high of 65 today. We broke a record. Because of the crazy temps we were hit with thunderstorms and in some areas, tornadoes.

In the last week we’ve had snow, freezing temps, rain and spring-like weather. Only in Chicago folks! Unfortunately for us, this will probably be the last day of warm temps. Beginning Thursday our highs will be in the low 30s.

Love It

I am a sucker for shiny, pretty things. I don’t mean jewelry. I’m talking about computers, laptops, cell phones and other fun tech gadgets.

Today the object of my desire is the BlackBerry 8xxx. With a projected launch date of May 2008, the 8xxx boasts a 624MHz processor built on the new Tavor chipset, full HSDPA with tri-band UMTS, a “half VGA” screen, 1500mAh battery, GPS, Wi-Fi, and a 2 megapixel camera.

This phone will of course be far out of my price range. It seems like this phone’s target market will be high-end consumers. Do I really need another QWERTY keypad phone? Do I need GPS? Not really. But it’s so fun to look at it and imagine holding it in my hands. Let me dream eh?


At the complete opposite end of the “I want” spectrum, we have the Sony Milo 2. I’ve been looking for some information on it, but all I’m coming up with is a bunch of articles stating the UK is wondering where the Milo 1 is at.

These phones have a full QWERTY keypad, but look too much like a video game control. It has a touchscreen, 1.3 megapixel camera as well as full YouTube support. It also provides quicklinks to pages such as Facebook and YouTube. Cause you know, those are important sites and all.

I’m okay drooling over the 8xxx.


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